I am sitting here, coffee in hand, and my eyelids feel like tons of bricks. Little tiny micro bricks stacked on top of each other. This is like newborn tired, but worse, because I’m supposed to be working. I attribute this level of exhaustion to three causes:
1. It’s raining. Anytime it rains in the morning, it is much harder to get out of bed and get going. I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s science. Maybe it’s a placebo effect.
2. The baby still doesn’t sleep through the night. I know. He’s technically not a baby anymore at 13 months, but he’s still very young. To make matters worse, I’ve had trouble weaning him from night nursing because he won’t take a pacifier. I am well aware that he is using me for comfort, but I don’t know how to stop. Plus, he’s been teething and going through major separation anxiety, so it’s at a full boil. I’ve tried to let him cry it out, but last night he literally screamed so hard he threw up. So in I went to clean up him and his bed. Not particularly pleasant.
3. I’m burnt the fuck out. I think quite literally. Between the demands of work and home and running around like a crazy person, my body has started to slow me down. I got an ear infection a couple weeks ago. I’ve only had one other ear infection my whole life and I was like three. A few days after I started treatment for the ear infection, I was hit with some terrible vertigo. The whole world was spinning. It came and went for about a week before I finally went into the doctor yesterday. He gave me some meds to suppress the spinning, but guess what the side effect is? Drowsiness!
So here I am, riding the sleepy train, Googling nightly rates at local hotel rooms and Airbnbs as I dream about getting a sound night’s sleep. It’s not the worst idea I’ve ever had.
The Maternal Canvas 